Friday, February 13, 2015

ex crush

Hey bloggie, it's 2015 now!
Haven't post anything for months or maybe years?hahaha
Actually why I post this is because of the earlier post bout J.
I know I haven't contact him for more than 3 years
We lost contact. I've moved on.
And in fact I've dated other guy. But it's also already over.
So I'm back from GZ and started hanging out with my gang, GS.
We was thinking about trying escape plan, which is the talk of the town.
Cause we're short in number, only 4 ppl, so I told my friend to ask J to join us.
He said okay as long as there're a lot of ppl join.
So there we go, 5 ppl.
We had out dinner first at Kwetiau jln Perdana.
And them guys keep teasing me with J all the time.
I was so cool with him cause we haven't talk in years, and in fact I was afraid that he avoid me, so I was acting cool, very very cool.
On our way home, never thought that he would put his arm around my shoulder.
Actually he's also held my hand. And it thrilled me.
It has been years but that sparks was always there.
And yesterday, we played escape plan again.
This time we're 3 couples.
I was coupled up with J.
I was sitting beside him all the time.
And he thrilled me again by holding my hand all over again.
He also told me not to wear short pants anymore, he told me to wear sth longer than that, not to wear low neck T's, wear long sleeves T's too.
That little thing is sweet. It was for my own good. Thanks for caring.
What I love the most is whenever I look him in the eyes, he don't avoid my eyes, and a sweet smile was always there when I look at him.
Now that we've grown up, I won't think what he did to me is special anymore.
I'll treat him as friend, close one, act of protecting and comforting me after the dark times few years ago.
I know I can't fall in love with him again, it's over.
I'm not the old me. And actually I'm building up my walls so that boys won't go knock down my walls and breaking my heart again. I gotta build it nice, tall and strong.
Til the time I think I'm strong enough to face guys and getting to know new people again.

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